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Caring for yourself as a dad

You may be so focused on caring for your newborn and supporting the baby's mum that you sometimes forget to look after yourself. It’s important to make sure you are healthy, so that you are better able to help your family.

Get some sleep

Caring for a newborn can be exhausting. So, it's important to find ways to rest. If you live with the baby's mum or another carer, talk about sharing nighttime duties. Or, create a schedule that works for both of you. Even short naps during the day can help you recharge.

It's okay to ask for help if things get tough. Family, friends, and local services can support you.

Talk to others

Having a baby brings great changes to both your life and the life of the baby’s other parent. However close you were before the baby came, you can’t read each other’s minds and will both be experiencing different things.

Try to have open and honest conversations with your baby’s other parent about how you’re both doing. It can also be helpful to talk to friends, family, or join local community groups where you can connect with other parents. Sharing your experiences with others can help you feel supported and less alone during this new stage of life.

Look after your mental health

The experience of having a baby can come with a mixture of emotions. You might feel full of joy sometimes and very stressed at other times . It can be especially hard if you are coping with other challenges, such as:

  • life issues like moving house, losing your job or bereavement
  • memories of a difficult birth
  • lack of sleep
  • problems with housing
  • experience of abuse when you were a child.

You can talk to your doctor any time. This includes when the baby’s mum is pregnant or after your child is born. Visit the NHS website to find out about using an online form to contact your GP surgery.

Your doctor can refer you to local support services or talking therapies. They could also prescribe you medication for your mental health if you are facing issues such as:

  • finding it hard to sleep
  • feeling guilty
  • low mood and always feeling sad
  • having anxiety
  • drinking more alcohol than usual
  • using or being tempted to use drugs
  • feeling annoyed
  • having a lack of interest in the baby or partner.

There are lots of other organisations that can help. Contact your local family hub who offer services that you can access. They will also be able to give you the details of other places to go.

If the baby’s mum experienced a difficult or traumatic birth, visit The Birth Trauma Association website.

Men can also experience postnatal depression. Get more information from PANDAS and join social groups for men experiencing postnatal depression, such as the Facebook group PANDAS Dads.

Or, contact the Perinatal Mental Health Helpline 24 hours a day, seven days a week. To talk to a trained advisor call 0800 107 0160 or text SHOUT to 85258.