Skip to content

Getting used to being a dad

You may be nervous about the idea of being a dad. Especially if it is your first child or the pregnancy was a surprise. There are many ways you can get used to the role and play a big part in your child’s life.

Spend time with your baby

The more time you spend with your baby, the more confidence you will build in being a dad. New babies can seem very fragile, but the more you hold them, the easier it will become. If you hold, sing to, and care for your newborn, you will likely feel more comfortable and bonded.

Ideas for spending time with your baby include:

  • Nappy changes, bathing, and dressing: These are not just practical tasks but great opportunities to bond. You can talk or sing to your baby while you do this.
  • Holding your baby skin-to-skin: This can be a soothing and bonding experience for both you and your baby.
  • Going for a walk with your baby: Fresh air and movement can be calming for you both.
  • Reading to your baby: Even at this young age, babies love the sound of your voice, and reading can help establish routines.
  • Gently massaging your baby: Baby massage can be a calming experience and support your baby’s physical and emotional development.
  • Playing simple games: Try soft tickling, peek-a-boo, or gentle rocking to engage your baby.

For practical tips and reminders on baby care like changing nappies and bathing you can visit Start For Life. Learn how you can help your baby’s early development on our page talking with your newborn.

Feeding your baby

It is helpful to have conversations with the baby’s other parent about how you plan to feed your baby before they arrive. Breastfeeding is good for both the baby and the mum’s health. It can help build their connection, support bonding, and is convenient and low cost!

If the baby’s mum is breastfeeding, there are lots of ways you can support her.

  • Be supportive. Breastfeeding can be a challenge, so gently boost her confidence with encouragement and praise.
  • Share with other childcare duties. You could offer to wind your baby after a feed, or change their clothes or nappy if needed.
  • Offer food and water during breastfeeding. Keeping the baby’s mum hydrated and fed can help them produce the milk they need.
  • If breastfeeding is a struggle you can find more information, including where to get support locally from the Beside You website. You can also ask for information from your midwife or health visitor.

Learn more about breastfeeding on the Beside You website and our page on feeding your baby.

If you are planning to bottle feed with expressed milk or infant formula, visit the NHS website for bottle feeding advice.

Caring for a crying baby

Your baby might cry for lots of reasons. They might be uncomfortable, tired, hungry or even just adjusting to their new environment. Crying is a normal way for babies to communicate their needs.

To help comfort your baby, you could try:

  • Stroking them gently.
  • Humming or singing.
  • Holding them skin-to-skin.
  • Taking them out for a walk in their pram.

It is okay to walk away if your baby is safe and the crying feels like it is getting too much for you. Make sure you go back and check your baby when you are feeling calmer. Set a time limit, for example ten minutes, so you know when to go back.

For further advice about infant crying, visit the ICON website.

The baby’s mum

Sometimes things are tough for the person that has given birth. It's normal for moods to fluctuate shortly after birth. But, some mums may develop more serious symptoms. This can signal a need for more help.

We know that mums with postnatal depression get better faster with support from those around them. If things don’t feel right, let someone know. This could be your midwife or health visitor.

Special situations

If your baby is born early or unwell, you may have a different experience from other parents. This can bring up mixed emotions. You might feel difficult emotions or be trying to navigate neonatal care.You can find a range of information for parents of premature or sick babies on the Bliss website.

Other support

Health Visiting service

Our Health Visiting service offers the course You and Your baby for parents with a baby under 6 months old. It also has a lots of presentations on different topics around looking after a baby. Find out more by visiting the Kent Baby website page for parenting courses to support you and your child.

Born to Move app

The Born to Move app can help you find ways to bond with your baby and encourage their brain growth. Use the links below to download and install the app:

DadPad app

The DadPad app is for new dads and dads to be. It gives practical ideas about how to look after your baby and build your relationship. Use the links below to download and install the app:

Once you install DadPad, access the Kent and Medway app by entering your postcode.