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Preparing for fatherhood

You can start to become a dad long before your baby is born. You can work together with the baby’s mum or other parent, whether you are together or co-parenting, to make practical and emotional preparations for fatherhood.

If you and your partner are no longer together, find help in our single parents and support for separated parents pages.

Plan your relationship with your baby

Your child's bond with you is as important as with their other carer. Think about how your parents raised you. Is this similar or different to the kind of parent you would like to be? Daydream about life with your baby and your role in their care.

Talk to the bump

You can bond with your baby during pregnancy by talking to the mum-to-be’s bump. This might feel a bit unusual at first. But, it lets your baby hear and start recognising your voice before they are born. Why not chat about your day, read a book, or share a story from a magazine or newspaper? Find out more on our page about talking to your bump during pregnancy.

Talk about parenting

Whether you live with your baby’s other parent or not, plan how to share parenting tasks before the baby comes. This is a good way to set expectations early which will help things go more smoothly once the baby arrives.

Agree on how you will help each other build a bond with your baby and find time to rest. If you live apart, this might include planning when you will have contact with your baby.

Make a list of the chores that need to be done each week and decide together who will take care of each one. Be sure to include parenting tasks, recognising that some tasks, such as breastfeeding, may fall more heavily on one parent. Balance other tasks to share the workload fairly. Sharing responsibilities can reduce the risk of conflict during what may already be a tiring time.

Make plans around finances

It’s a great idea to work out your finances before the baby arrives, since there will be many new expenses. Agree what can be spent and what might be saved. If you are employed, talk about paternity pay and how much leave you would like to take with your employer.

For free money advice, childcare and help applying for benefits, visit our section on support with day-to-day living. You can also visit the GOV.UK website which has more information about maternity and paternity pay and leave and Money Helper which has useful tools such as a Baby Costs Calculator and a Baby Money Timeline.

Learn from others

Other fathers have lots of experience that can help you prepare for what is to come. Talk to valued friends who have children and see if they can answer some of your questions. Listening to podcasts and reading books about fatherhood can also build your confidence

Or contact your local family hub for support and advice about parenthood.

Practical tasks

Babies take up a surprising amount of time when they arrive. So, preparing in advance can help. It can make things easier and less stressful. To help make things easier, here are some ways you can prepare in advance of the birth.

  • Clean and organise your home to create a calm, welcoming space.
  • Plan or even freeze some healthy meals that you can enjoy when you’re short on time.
  • Get any baby gear you need like a car seat, bathtub and cot. Search for NCT nearly new sales near you to buy second-hand baby essentials.
  • Build any flat pack furniture so it’s ready to use.